My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Randomize
