Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
