THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
