pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
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