..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
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