you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
