He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
