What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Randomize
