ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
