Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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