Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
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