Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
