i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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