I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
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Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
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My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
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