i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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