I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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