69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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