He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
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