Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
