I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
did i walk over a car last night?
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
