So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
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