So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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