You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Randomize
