Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
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