dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
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