Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
