the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Randomize