hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I'm really into asian looking animals
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Dicks are not precious.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Randomize
