I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
