We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
cat food counts as protein by the way
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
