hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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