i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
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