He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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