your thong is hanging out like whoa
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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