if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
my mouth tastes like poor choices
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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