Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
