never play flip cup with pint glasses
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
then he tried to convert me to islam
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Randomize
