is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
