I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize