u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize
