And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I am one with the molecules
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
