if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
