I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
