dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
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omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
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