I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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