PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize