Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Randomize
