i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
