I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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