she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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