4 words: hood of his car
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
