My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize