it's not cheating when I paid for it
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize