So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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