i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
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