they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
